1. You meet people you will never get away from.
This first reason not to become a TEFL teacher is one of the strongest. You will meet fellow teachers, students and bosses who will change your view on the world, who will make you question your thinking and challenge your own beliefs. Meeting them will make you see that there are so many options open to you and paths for you to explore. Outlining better ways to be and different ways to consider. They will open up a new way of reasoning that you didn’t know was possible.
By sitting with you on the waterfront, they will inspire you to write and will invite you to visit them on their next adventure. You will share moments with these people that conjure magic and fairies and life itself. There is no choice but to get swept up in all of this.
You’ll have a million stories to tell your grandchildren, or other people’s grandchildren, should they ask.
Sounds hefty? Well, it is. You will never get away from the people you meet while teaching abroad, if you are one of the lucky ones.
2. You become pedantic about grammar and spelling but have to bottle it up. Sharing is not advised nor encouraged.
Now this point is the reason that some people are good teachers and others are not. I could of told you that, you think.
No, you couldn’t – don’t bring me this. I am sorry Present Perfect. It’s not your fault. You are misunderstood. TEFLers have a silent flow of constant rage, on your behalf. We are not allowed to share. Actually, we don’t want to either, because it is private, ours and special.
The ramblings of a mad teacher, well maybe. But we cannot help it, we are training to spot errors and mistakes in written and spoken English. It’s our whole job! Well mostly. So, while it is not your fault, nor that of the Present Perfect, it is not ours either. We are sorry for the rage, because mostly and overall, we are polite.
3. You don’t get to work 9-5.
Yes, this is terrible. Most days start and finish at different times, with long lunches and coffee breaks scheduled in. Oh but it drags. Pavement cafes are fine and dandy the first few years you are abroad, but then what? Hmm? What if it rains? Did you bring an umbrella? Well, I thought not.
I could go shopping in the middle of the day to buy one right enough, but I can’t – siesta time. Harrumph.
Nine to five is just more normal, so that’s probably better. Late night classes are no fun anyway… well certainly not if you also have an early morning class.
4. The people you meet will distract you from your well-planned lessons.
There is nothing worse than planning your lesson to within an inch of its life and then one of your pesky students, or even a few of them, feel that it resonates with them and they start gibbering away telling you how it applies to them. What about PPP? I have a worksheet and a cool down to get through too you know. Stop talking! Stop using this foreign language in a natural and communicative way, when talking about something that gives you the feels and that I inspired in you. Just stop it. Now, where were we? I am, you are, he, she, it is… REPEAT!
5. You will associate travelling with work.
Oh my goodness! Travel is for fun, adventure, learning new languages, having adventures. That’s not what work is. Work is dull. Travelling for work is not recommended. Beaches are.
Wait? What?
6. You’ll be bored in the evenings and weekends, because you don’t know anyone.
When you move abroad to become a TEFL teacher, you’ll probably not know anyone. What’s worse is that there will be a whole other bunch of new teachers arriving and, unlike you, they are keen to explore and meet new people. There will also be an older gen well-established network of teachers who are all a bit longer in the tooth, that will act as a support network. This is just awful. Expect none of them to invite you to rooftop parties or to take the train and nip to ROME for the weekend. You’ll, instead, be left on your own. Weeping into your coke.
7. People never visit the treasures on their doorstep, so best not to have any.
This one sucks. I live in Scotland. Have I visited Loch Ness? Yes, I have. I have not though, and I repeat not, seen the monster. Recently.
So, it goes to show and follows on accordingly, that if you lived next to say, Pompeii you’d probably not go. Or the Amalfi Coast would be a distant dream. Oh well, Sorrento isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway, there are not many actual beaches. More like bathing platforms looking over the bay of Naples and Vesuvius. Probably would get a skelf.
8. You have to sing and clap on a daily basis, even if you don’t feel like it.
English language students come in all ages, heights and with their own interests, as do TEFL teachers. Students, no matter their age, will often try to railroad you into a positive and fun environment of learning. Which is not allowed. The worst are the kids, they will want you to play games, throw balls and beanbags and often you will be so sad due to all the previously listed reasons, that you won’t want to sit on the floor surrounded by wide eyed learning sponges who want to hear a song about a bus. Again. Of course the wheels go round and round, otherwise it is a bench. Clapping and singing is overrated, it’s not that much fun.
9. You are expected to be a walking dictionary.
Firstly, don’t you just hate it when people treat you like you are the expert in the room? When your knowledge is untouchable and when no one questions if you actually would know the answer. Yeah, me too. So presumptuous.
Furthermore, it is annoying when no one questions my understanding of the language that millions of people are striving to learn. Maybe I get mixed up too sometimes and maybe I don’t know what a frog is. But you wouldn’t know that would you? You never asked, you just assumed I knew beacuse I am a TEFL teacher.
10. You can’t go back to how things were. Ever.
Well, I quite like who I am! I don’t want to change. Or grow. Or think. Or challenge. Or explore.
So, if I can’t go back, then I’ll just stay here, right? No, you’ll have to move one way or another. However, this is where teaching TEFL limits your choices, you’ll only move forward and upwards. See? Not great.
11. Bonus, you’ll forget English!
Oh no! It’s my native language!! Imagine how awful it would be if I dimenticato my madrelingua!!! How would I ever be able to parlare again??
Imagine how dull it would be to tell people that you speak a second language. Imagine how amazed they wouldn’t be.
For these and so many other reasons, don’t become a TEFL teacher. It’s just not for normal people. Happily.